Friday, July 10, 2009

"The Mommy Wars" Round 3: Co-sleeping or not?

Posted by Angiefairbanks at 12:00 AM
As I have been writing on "The Mommy Wars," I kept having a thought come to me. Why are we as mothers so mean to each other? We aren't usually blatently mean to each other but we are definatly each others hardest critics. If we see a mom giving her baby a bottle, breastfeeding mothers probably have an opinion about it, whether they voice it or not. If we know our friend is letting their baby sleep with them and we make our baby sleep in their own room, then we have an opinion on it. I really think that we just want to do the best for our kids and when we make a decision we think its the best so when we see somebody doing something else, they are automatically doing it wrong. We never take into account that maybe, just maybe, that mother made the decision that is best for her child.

Another topic of heated debate in the mommy world is co-sleeping. There are lots of theories out there that co-sleeping is beneficial for the baby and mother. Some of the theories suggest that there is a closer bond between mother and child. It is also a lot easier for those wonderful 2 AM feeding for breastfeeding moms. She wouldn't have to hop out of bed when the baby is hungry, she can just whip it out (come on girls, you know what I'm talking about).

There are also studies showing that the rish of SIDS is greatly reduced when babies do not share beds with their parents. Its also hard, and even dangerous to share a bed when a parent is an especially deep sleeper or obese.

As far as me, I can't bed share with my kids. I cannot sleep when they are sleeping in bed with me. I am to paranoid. I am afraid if I put them in the middle my hubby will roll over and smoosh them and if I put them on the side I am afraid they are going to roll off the bed. I had my son sleep in our bed a few nights after he was really sick and it was the hardest thing ever to get him back in the basinet next to our bed. Everytime I would snore or roll over or whatever he would wake up and think he needed to be next to me. When we tried to move him to his room it was aweful, aweful, aweful. I felt like such a horrible mother by making him sleep a whole 30 feet away from me. Getting him to sleep in his room took like 2 monthes.

When we had our daughter we made a goal to not let her sleep in our bed. We got one of those armreach co-sleepers and I LOVE IT. We hooked the little bed on my side of the bed and she was right nxe to me all night but not really in my bed. I was able to roll over and put my hand on her chest (I am way paranoid) and check on her like 6 times a night without having to get up. When she got older and would wake up when I would make noise, get up to go to the bathroom or even roll over, we decided to move her to her room. She was sleeping through the night without having to eat at this time so it really wasn't a big deal. She seriously was so much easier to get to sleep in her own room than her brother was. It was wonderful. She didn't cry for me and reach for me like her brother did and in turn I had less mommy guilt.

What do you do when it comes to sleeping arrangements with your children? How do you feel on the topic of co-sleeping? Post some comments and lets get this discusion going.


House of Howells on July 11, 2009 at 12:08 PM said...

I cannot sleep with any of my children. I value my sleep and anytime I put any of them in my bed I could not sleep at all. Every little noise they made would keep me awake, the fear of smothering them would keep me awake, the fear of moving the slightest bit and waking them up would keep me awake. I just couldn't do it, but I also could not have them sleeping in the bassinet next to me. Every little noise would wake me up and they would then expect me to come running, with all 3 they were moved within the first couple of weeks and they all 3 are great sleepers. Madelyn took longer to sleep through the night, but I truly believe you will get a better nights sleep and the baby will also if they do not sleep with you. I believe it instills good sleeping habits for them and teaches them to put themselves to sleep instead of mommy rocking, nursing, or swaddling them to sleep. Of course this is my opinion and like you said everyone has there own objection on the topic.

Angiefairbanks on July 11, 2009 at 5:20 PM said...

I totally agree, Lillie is much better of a sleeper than Joey. She won't even let me rock her to sleep. She just wants to be put down and go to sleep on her own. Its nice but she has gotten so used to this that she doesn't like me to hold her and just snuggle her at all. If she is awake, she is sapposed to be playing or kept intertained. If she is tired, then she thinks she is sapposed to be in her bed asleep.

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