Thursday, July 9, 2009

What The "Freak" Where They Thinking????

Posted by Angiefairbanks at 5:25 AM
I try to find an article or blog post each week that would be valuable information for my readers. I read it and then write about it. Well, as I was searching on Digg for something that would be pertinent I came across the blog post entitled, "10 Great Books For (Traumatizing) Kids," on the blog"cracked." I thought the article sounded funny so I decided to read it and check it out. I tell you, I could not keep my mouth shut while I was reading. I repeatedly found my jaw practically on the floor.

The author of this post found 10 books that have the ability to screw your kids up. The sad thing is that these are real books, I kid you not. Every single one of these books have been published and printed for the masses. It just goes to show you anybody can write a kids book. Heck, maybe if this whole blogging thing doesn't work out for me I should throw some crap into a book and put some bright colorful pictures in it and call it a kids book. Who knows maybe I'll strike it rich. Anyway, I thought I would bring you the list of books he talked about and a little synapse of what they are about. Ready?? All right, remember these are real books, I am not joking.

1. Hiroshima No Pika

This book is written for Kindergartners and it is about, you're right the bombing of Hiroshima. The book is an account of a mother trying to escape the bombs blast radius while leading her to children and carrying her wounded husband on her back. And yes, that is her topless running through a symbolic sea of blood on the cover.

2. Who Cares About Disabled People

Yup, that's the title all right. The goal of the book is intended to answer that question with the answer, everybody cares about disabled people. Unfortunately the authors idea of disabled people are fat kids, alcoholics, druggies, and really tall athletes. I agree with the author of the post by saying as soon as a druggie or alcoholic gets a handicapped spot at the grocery store while I am hauling my two kids from all the way in the back because there is no where else to park, I'm gonna be ticked!

3. I Wish Daddy Didn't Drink So Much

Can you say, "dysfunctional?" The author of this book also wrote books titled, My Big Sister Takes Drugs, Nobody Wants A Nuclear War, When Eric's Mom Fought Cancer, and My Two Uncles. I think the author wanted to make screwed up situations better?????? Not sure. But really who's gonna get a book like that for a kid who's dad drinks a lot, I think I'd rather get the kids some therapy.

4. Outside Over There

This book is bazaar. The movie "The Labrynth" was based on this book, loosely and I must say loosely. Thankfully, loosely. The book suggest that if you don't like your younger sibling you can just ask the goblins to come and eat her/him and they gladly will do just that.

5. The House That Crack Built

Wanna teach your little one all about crack and where it comes from? Well read them this book. It paints a pictures of the entire process of crack, start to finish. The intent was to scare them from drugs early so they will avoid them all together but seriously, they are LITTLE KIDS for crying out loud. I'm still working on sharing and not peeing in his pants, I don't think I need to teach my preschooler about crack just yet.

6. Sometimes Mommy Gets Angry

Yup, that's exactly what the book is about. The book is meant to teach the children about mental illness. Well the little kid calls grandma and she talks him through it over the phone. Well what the crap grandma, why didn't you go get your grandkid and save him from his psycho mom??? That's what I want to know.

7. The Poodle-Pug-Daschund-Pinscher

First I thought to myself, well that's gonna screw the kids up and confuse them on any knowledge they had about the birds and the bees. Upon further investigation I found that the book was actually Nazi propaganda intended for little preschoolers-2nd grade-ish. The propaganda spewed was all about how awful Jews were. For example, "Just like the bacterium, the Jews bring plague and decline to the peoples they infect by race mixing and infecting Gentile peoples with Jewish thinking. They maintain, for example, that all humans are equal. But that is not true. It is a terrible lie!" Yes, I realize that this was printed during WWII but it is still accessible to today's children.

8. Latawnya, The Naughty Horse, Learns To Say "No" To Drugs

Funny title and to book at first glance just seems a stupidly hilarious but did you notice the name in the title? Yup, Latawnya. In the book not only are the horses smoking cigarettes but trying to hold alcoholic drinks with their hooves they are all black horses names, Latawnya, Daisy and Latoya. Theses horses are, top it off, confronted by the evil drug pushing white horses. So if that's not just weird enough for ya, they throw in an overdosing horse at the end.

9. Cautionary Tales For Children

Yes this book was written over 100 years ago, but keep in mind that it was rereleased in 2002. I just can't believe it. What a way to inflict fear in your kids. I thought it was somewhat humorous and unfortunate. Notice the black hand trying to get the white kid on the cover. That is just wrong, such a subliminal way of teaching kids to be racist.

10. Alfie's Home

This book is written about a little boy who was molested by his uncle and whos parents don't believe him when they talk to him. Not disturbing enough for you, well the book also implies that those who molest are gay and all that are molested are gay. The word "faggot" is written in the illustrations also. Not only that, to resolve the issue of molestation they just send the kid and the uncle go to couseling, the uncle apologizes, the kid realizes he isn't gay and everything is just magically OK. I just can't believe it.

I really want to give the benefit of the doubt to the authors of these books but really I'm not sure what they were thinking. I have enough to worry about raising my little kids to try and teach them the woes of the world. For crying out loud can they not just be kids for a while instead of delving into all this crud at such a young age. Really its beyond me, it just goes to show that you can't trust everything they say is a kids book.


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