I just want to say today that I am freaking exhausted! It boggles my mind that after going through labor and caring for a newborn baby throughout the night for months that we as mothers can get up the next day and put on a happy face, most of the time, and carry on. But the second they start sleeping though the night we (I) take it for granted. They sleep peacefully for months, through the night light little angels. Then one night they decide they are going to wake up at 2 AM and want to play! What the heck?!? I got the baby to sleep again for like an hour and then she was up again. This went on all night long. Then, she was up for the day at 7 AM this mornig, which was early for her anyway. I AM TIRED!! Why? I just don't get it. I didn't just go through labor, I'm not nursing anymore, my body isn't recovering from anything but I feel like I just got hit by a train. I am so confused. Do you think our bodies are hard wired to run off of 3 hours of sleep after we have a baby or what? I want to hear what you have to say on this topic.
Friday, July 3, 2009
"The Mommy Wars" Round 2: Stay at Home Moms vs. Working Moms
Round two of "The Mommy Wars" is here. The topic for today is stay at home moms vs. working moms. The is the original "Mommy War." This debate has been going on forever. I have done a lot of research on this particular topic and have been thinking about it for about a week, since I have decided to write about it. I am finding myself not knowing where to start. But one thing I have learned through all of this is that it isn't as cut and dry as some people might think it is.
There are many stay at home advocates that will tell you that it is better for the baby. The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development did a study in 2003 that found that kids who spent all day in daycare had higher levels of stress and more aggression than kids cared for at home. Some experts believe that any consistent, quality caregiver could give the emotional stability needed for children to have lower levels of stress and less affression and that that care doesn't have to come from the parents to yield those results. Another plus in being a stay at home mom is that you get to be there to see all of their "firsts," and you don't have to hear about it from a caregiver. One aspect of being a stay at home mom that particularly appeals to me is that you can raise them how you want and teach them things you want them to learn.
Some stay at home moms feel like they are loosing part of themselves or at time their sanity. This is something really important to consider.
An important aspect to consider is the money situation. For many families it is cheaper for a parent to stay home and not pay for daycare. But with the economy the way it is and more and more single parents out there, working for some is not an option.
It also goes beyond money reasons why some mothers decide to work. Some mothers say they need to work in order to keep their sanity or to be good moms.
The main pros of being a working mother is that they can keep their identity and "self." Unfortunatly, no matter how far our society comes women will always be judged on the aspect of how well they are able to raise and take care of their family. It is hard for working mothers to spend a lot of times with their kids as they would like. Cooking home cooked meals and doing stuff around the house on top of everything else sometimes can feel impossible.
During th e tough economic times that we are in now, some husbands of stay at homes moms are being layed off and it is falling to the women to go back to the workforce and take care of the family. Many moms that stay at home work from home.
I personally stay at home with my children, but I am always working on something to contribute to the family. I guess I would be labeled a work from home mom. I said this before in round one of "The Mommy Wars," as long as we are doing what we feel is the best things we can for our children then thats all that matters. There are no 2 situations that are the same and no 2 families that are the same. Each situation and family warrants it own individual decision. If at the end of the day our children know they are loved, if they are happy and their need are taken care of then you have done enough and everything is ok.
Here is a video found that I found. I love the Momversations and look out I am going to be posting them periodically.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
6 Ways To Train Your Husband
Allright, allright I know the title of the post makes you probably think, "what the heck??" I have to admit that when I heard about this subject I thought the same thing.
I ran across this idea while I was surfing the web and reading blogs. A fellow mommy blogger and journalist wrote a blog post about a article that caught her eye in "Cosmopolitan" magazine. I was still skeptical at this point but I kept reading for the heck of it. She stated that she wasn't a regular "Cosmopolitan" reader. I was interested a little bit more because neither am I. I kept reading and by the time I finished reading her post I was intrigued. So I surfed on over to the "Cosmo" website and checked this article out.
The article was titled "6 Ways To rain Your Boyfriend." Most of us reading this blog have children and probably a husband or serious boyfriend. I read the article and reflected on something I heard probably 5 years ago from Dr. Laura. Dr Laura is a conservative radio show host and psychologist who takes calls on her show from listeners and helps them with their problems in their personal lives. With regard to Dr Laura's thoughts on women in relationships Dr. Laura states the point as follows: "Men are simple creatures who come from a woman, are nurtured and brought up by a woman, and yearn for the continued love, admiration, and approval from a woman. Women have great power and influence over men, and wives in particular have tremendous power over their husbands. How they use this power essentially controls the relationship, because women are the masters of most relationships and marriages."
I just want to make the point known that I don't think for a minute we are in total control or that the men in our lives can't think for themselves or that they have no responsibility in the outcome or success in their marriage. I think the opposite but I also believe completly that we as women have a ton of power. I have seen it in my 6 year marriage and in the 32 year marriage of my parents.
Now, going back to the cosmo article. The article speaks of 6 ways to train, or better put mold, shape and help determine the path things unwind in your relationships. I think "6 Ways To Train Your Husband" just has better punch and catches readers eyes. They equated animal training techniques to men, this made me chuckle because don't get me wrong I love my hubby but sometimes don't men just act a little animalistic.
The first way to train was in reference to their aversion to doing chores. They said to change this behavior endulge in their playfulness first. Chimpanzee trainers will play with the chimps that they are training for a few minutes first before they attempt to get them to do any tricks or tasks. No matter how old they are men never loose all of the playfullness in them. It seems like the brat in them comes out when you are asking them to do things around the house. Experts say that if you play around with them for a few minutes first and then ask them to take the trash out, for example, then tell them you will finish playing with them later (after they take out the trash). Eventually, if used consistently, they will stop associating chores with nagging and drudgery and start associate it with fun and be more willing to help out more when asked.
The second way to train was when they are lacking social graces (farting, burping, etc.) The best way to get him to stop doing this behavior is to ignore it. Dog trainers will tell you that when a dog sniffs a crotch or paws at peoples legs the best thing to do is to ignore. Yes, instinct is to push the dog away and tell it no but really this just incourages the dog to do it again and again. Men are a lot like this. Sometimes they just want attention, attention of anysort. “Men don’t want to be treated like children, and if you correct him, he’ll feel like you’re mothering him,” says Patricia Covalt, PhD, author of What Smart Couples Know. Instead, ignore him when he’s being obnoxious, and give him some PDA (think a kiss or a tap on the butt) when he’s acting sweet. Since guys — like dogs — aim to please, he’ll instinctively begin to avoid the behavior that makes you freeze him out. One tip: timing is crucial. Be sure to reward him at the exact moment he engages in a positive behavior; otherwise, he won’t be able to make the appropriate connection.
The third way to train was talking about how men want to bottle up or leave when there is an argument. Its important to keep a cool head. Men in this situation are like horses. They respond well to calming soothing voices. Guys, my hubby expecially, will argue back more and the fight gets worse if I have a high pitched voice or raise it even the slightest. “Calmly telling him what he did wrong will make it easier for him to tune in to what you’re saying,” says Covalt. Touch also plays a crucial role in this scenario: Place your hand on his as you speak. Not only does this buffer the blow of your words, but it also mimics the comforting way a trainer strokes a horse’s mane to calm the animal down.
The fourth way to train your man is talking about when they are being stubborn. The key here is to use proper body language. When trainers want cougars to bend to their will they find a middle ground. They walk with squared off shoulders not too forcefull to be percieved as a threat but also not to meek to be percieved as prey. Men are a lot alike. When they are being stubborn its important for us to not approach them too aggressively. Even the most manly of men can feel emmasculated if a women approaches them in a fearless way. But on the flip side of that men have a tendancy to "walk all over" women that are too submissive, women that slouch and look at the floor when speaking. "If you’re standing really close to him with your hands on your hips and your feet wide apart, he’ll get defensive and instinctively want to fight back,” says body-language expert Patti Wood, author of Success Signals. “The best way to stay on equal ground is to stand with good posture, your head up, and an open frame so he sees you as being on the same level as he is. This way, he’ll be more apt to want to talk things through with you,” she says later.
The fifth way is geared to those wonderful moments when he won't get his butt off the couch, and do something around the house. In this analogy our men are compared to lions. Lions are lazy they sleep about 20 hours a day and only get up to do what they have to do to survive (eat, drink, go to the bathroom etc.) Lion wrangler Dave Salomi says, "Trying to get a lion to do something when it’s in resting mode can be very difficult and even dangerous,” he goes on to say, “That’s why we make use of the animal’s active time instead of trying to force it into doing something it doesn’t want to when it’s chilling.” A man chillin out is less likely to do move his bum and do something productive no matter how much you engage him or bribe him. The article suggests approaching him when he is most active, like after he is done working out or first thing in the morning when he is full of energy. If you have to get him to do something during his down time, make it worth his while by bribing him that interests him more than what he is currently doing.
The sixth and final way of training our men teaches us how to make them more romantic. The key is to take baby steps. Elephant trainers don't teach elephants to paint by just giving them a canvas, paint, and brushes and telling them to have at it. They take baby steps. One day they will teach them how to hold the brush by putting it into their trunk and wrapping their trunk around it. The next day they will teach it to did the brush into the paint and so on and so on. The same is for men. If we want them to be more romantic, we can't just tell them and expect miracles, we have to show them. The average guy is romantic it just that guys aren't really into details. They usually lack in the execusion department. Start by staging your home. For example, turn the lights down low, lights some candles, turn some romantic music on etc. Start doing things like that for him and this will create a ritual in his mind. Eventually he will start making a connection and start doing this on his own.
Who knows maybe these methods will work. I look at some women and they can get their men to do anything and I seem to still fall short. I feel like I have to nag too much and after 6 years of marriage you would think that I would of been better in the training department. The one method that really jumps out at me and sounds like it will make sense is the analogy of the horse and using a calm voice and touching him when there is a disagreement. I have noticed in my life that this is true, so who knows maybe the rest of it is. It definatly is worth a shot, just imagine how nice it would be to never have to nag again. Give it a try and let me know your thoughts on it.
I ran across this idea while I was surfing the web and reading blogs. A fellow mommy blogger and journalist wrote a blog post about a article that caught her eye in "Cosmopolitan" magazine. I was still skeptical at this point but I kept reading for the heck of it. She stated that she wasn't a regular "Cosmopolitan" reader. I was interested a little bit more because neither am I. I kept reading and by the time I finished reading her post I was intrigued. So I surfed on over to the "Cosmo" website and checked this article out.
The article was titled "6 Ways To rain Your Boyfriend." Most of us reading this blog have children and probably a husband or serious boyfriend. I read the article and reflected on something I heard probably 5 years ago from Dr. Laura. Dr Laura is a conservative radio show host and psychologist who takes calls on her show from listeners and helps them with their problems in their personal lives. With regard to Dr Laura's thoughts on women in relationships Dr. Laura states the point as follows: "Men are simple creatures who come from a woman, are nurtured and brought up by a woman, and yearn for the continued love, admiration, and approval from a woman. Women have great power and influence over men, and wives in particular have tremendous power over their husbands. How they use this power essentially controls the relationship, because women are the masters of most relationships and marriages."
I just want to make the point known that I don't think for a minute we are in total control or that the men in our lives can't think for themselves or that they have no responsibility in the outcome or success in their marriage. I think the opposite but I also believe completly that we as women have a ton of power. I have seen it in my 6 year marriage and in the 32 year marriage of my parents.
Now, going back to the cosmo article. The article speaks of 6 ways to train, or better put mold, shape and help determine the path things unwind in your relationships. I think "6 Ways To Train Your Husband" just has better punch and catches readers eyes. They equated animal training techniques to men, this made me chuckle because don't get me wrong I love my hubby but sometimes don't men just act a little animalistic.
The first way to train was in reference to their aversion to doing chores. They said to change this behavior endulge in their playfulness first. Chimpanzee trainers will play with the chimps that they are training for a few minutes first before they attempt to get them to do any tricks or tasks. No matter how old they are men never loose all of the playfullness in them. It seems like the brat in them comes out when you are asking them to do things around the house. Experts say that if you play around with them for a few minutes first and then ask them to take the trash out, for example, then tell them you will finish playing with them later (after they take out the trash). Eventually, if used consistently, they will stop associating chores with nagging and drudgery and start associate it with fun and be more willing to help out more when asked.
The second way to train was when they are lacking social graces (farting, burping, etc.) The best way to get him to stop doing this behavior is to ignore it. Dog trainers will tell you that when a dog sniffs a crotch or paws at peoples legs the best thing to do is to ignore. Yes, instinct is to push the dog away and tell it no but really this just incourages the dog to do it again and again. Men are a lot like this. Sometimes they just want attention, attention of anysort. “Men don’t want to be treated like children, and if you correct him, he’ll feel like you’re mothering him,” says Patricia Covalt, PhD, author of What Smart Couples Know. Instead, ignore him when he’s being obnoxious, and give him some PDA (think a kiss or a tap on the butt) when he’s acting sweet. Since guys — like dogs — aim to please, he’ll instinctively begin to avoid the behavior that makes you freeze him out. One tip: timing is crucial. Be sure to reward him at the exact moment he engages in a positive behavior; otherwise, he won’t be able to make the appropriate connection.
The third way to train was talking about how men want to bottle up or leave when there is an argument. Its important to keep a cool head. Men in this situation are like horses. They respond well to calming soothing voices. Guys, my hubby expecially, will argue back more and the fight gets worse if I have a high pitched voice or raise it even the slightest. “Calmly telling him what he did wrong will make it easier for him to tune in to what you’re saying,” says Covalt. Touch also plays a crucial role in this scenario: Place your hand on his as you speak. Not only does this buffer the blow of your words, but it also mimics the comforting way a trainer strokes a horse’s mane to calm the animal down.
The fourth way to train your man is talking about when they are being stubborn. The key here is to use proper body language. When trainers want cougars to bend to their will they find a middle ground. They walk with squared off shoulders not too forcefull to be percieved as a threat but also not to meek to be percieved as prey. Men are a lot alike. When they are being stubborn its important for us to not approach them too aggressively. Even the most manly of men can feel emmasculated if a women approaches them in a fearless way. But on the flip side of that men have a tendancy to "walk all over" women that are too submissive, women that slouch and look at the floor when speaking. "If you’re standing really close to him with your hands on your hips and your feet wide apart, he’ll get defensive and instinctively want to fight back,” says body-language expert Patti Wood, author of Success Signals. “The best way to stay on equal ground is to stand with good posture, your head up, and an open frame so he sees you as being on the same level as he is. This way, he’ll be more apt to want to talk things through with you,” she says later.
The fifth way is geared to those wonderful moments when he won't get his butt off the couch, and do something around the house. In this analogy our men are compared to lions. Lions are lazy they sleep about 20 hours a day and only get up to do what they have to do to survive (eat, drink, go to the bathroom etc.) Lion wrangler Dave Salomi says, "Trying to get a lion to do something when it’s in resting mode can be very difficult and even dangerous,” he goes on to say, “That’s why we make use of the animal’s active time instead of trying to force it into doing something it doesn’t want to when it’s chilling.” A man chillin out is less likely to do move his bum and do something productive no matter how much you engage him or bribe him. The article suggests approaching him when he is most active, like after he is done working out or first thing in the morning when he is full of energy. If you have to get him to do something during his down time, make it worth his while by bribing him that interests him more than what he is currently doing.
The sixth and final way of training our men teaches us how to make them more romantic. The key is to take baby steps. Elephant trainers don't teach elephants to paint by just giving them a canvas, paint, and brushes and telling them to have at it. They take baby steps. One day they will teach them how to hold the brush by putting it into their trunk and wrapping their trunk around it. The next day they will teach it to did the brush into the paint and so on and so on. The same is for men. If we want them to be more romantic, we can't just tell them and expect miracles, we have to show them. The average guy is romantic it just that guys aren't really into details. They usually lack in the execusion department. Start by staging your home. For example, turn the lights down low, lights some candles, turn some romantic music on etc. Start doing things like that for him and this will create a ritual in his mind. Eventually he will start making a connection and start doing this on his own.
Who knows maybe these methods will work. I look at some women and they can get their men to do anything and I seem to still fall short. I feel like I have to nag too much and after 6 years of marriage you would think that I would of been better in the training department. The one method that really jumps out at me and sounds like it will make sense is the analogy of the horse and using a calm voice and touching him when there is a disagreement. I have noticed in my life that this is true, so who knows maybe the rest of it is. It definatly is worth a shot, just imagine how nice it would be to never have to nag again. Give it a try and let me know your thoughts on it.
What To Do Wednesday: Peanut Butter Playdough
As a mother of 2 kids I am always trying to find activities for them to do that will keep them busy. I saw an episode of John and Kate Plus 8 where they made this playdough for the kids and it kept them busy forever. The best thing is that it is edible.
***Tip: Don't tell the kids its edible right away. Make sure they play with it for a while and that will help drag out the time that they kids are occupied for longer.
JUST FOR KIDS: PEANUT BUTTER PLAYDOUGH
1 c. peanut butter
2/3-1 c. nonfat dry milk
2 tbsp. honey
Mix ingredients. Add enough powdered milk to make playdough dry enough to handle. Shape into balls. Add raisins to make a face. Or stir in chow mein noodles and make a bird's nest. Or stir in Cheerios or chocolate chips for fun. Eat and enjoy!
***Tip: Don't tell the kids its edible right away. Make sure they play with it for a while and that will help drag out the time that they kids are occupied for longer.
JUST FOR KIDS: PEANUT BUTTER PLAYDOUGH
1 c. peanut butter
2/3-1 c. nonfat dry milk
2 tbsp. honey
Mix ingredients. Add enough powdered milk to make playdough dry enough to handle. Shape into balls. Add raisins to make a face. Or stir in chow mein noodles and make a bird's nest. Or stir in Cheerios or chocolate chips for fun. Eat and enjoy!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Crazy Me
seem to always be frazzled in one way or another. I run around a lot taking care of the kids and the hubby while trying to keep a nice home and the list goes on and on. You all know how it is. We are so busy that we don't get a lot of time for ourself. When we do get a moment it truly is just a moment. Mine usually is when I am in the shower. Well, actually sometimes that isn't even truly a moment for myself. I was trying to shower the day beforemy sons birthday party and I had a ton of stuff to do. When I shower my mind races and I think of all the stuff I need to get done. Well aparently my mind was racing a little too much because the next day after my sons party we decided to get into the hot tub and I went and changed. Well, apparently I got distracted while I was in the shower because I noticed I had only shaved one of my armpits!!! I couldn't believe it. Somedays I think I am loosing my mind. But it is just an example of my CRAZY life as a mother. I couldn't help but laugh and get a good chuckle out of it.
Thrifty Tuesday
Every Tuesday I will share tips and tricks to save you and you're family money. With todays economy everybody needs to work on saving money, especially us with kids. I will list 5 things but please feel free to comment and leave me your own tips. Each week I will focus on one central theme, today I am focusing on saving money on the one thing we all need, groceries. Thanks for stopping by.
Go grocery shopping with a list and buy only what is on the list
You will spend less on food if you shop with a list, and stick to it. The less you impulse buy, they more money you will save. Your list is your road map to how much you can spend each week. When you make it out, try to cost it out also. Then you'll know about how much of your money you are going to spend. If there is something you have forgotten to put on your list that you need that week, not an impulse buy, a forgotten item, write it on your list before putting it in your basket. This will force you to think twice about your money and keep you organized for next time.
Cook with two meals in mind
Plan ahead and use recipes when cooking dinner or making a liost and planning out your meals. For example: Having a pot roast for dinner? Make sure you have a recipe for beef stew for the leftovers. You can make it the next day and eat right away or freeze it for next week. If you don't have enough meat leftover for a stew, try a beef vegetable soup. You don't need much, just make sure you plan ahead and be prepare to use your leftovers in recipes, otherwise you may lose the savings!
Pack your own school lunches for you're kids or lunches for you're husband to take to work each day
Packing a school lunch costs approximately $3.00-$4.00 a week. Considering buying a lunch at school costs $2.00-$2.50 a day, you can see the saving immediately. Plus, you can be sure that your child has something he/she wants to eat. Examples are crackers and cheese or crackers and peanut butter, boiled eggs, cold fried chicken, soup, salad, slices of ham or roast, raw vegetables and dip, muffins or cornbread with baked in hotdog chunks. If there is a special day each week that the school offers a lunch your child wants, like pizza, buy the one day a week - you'll still benefit from the savings. Plus when you pack you're hubby's lunch each day it will draw the two of you closer. It will show him how much you love him and in turn he will be sweeter to you when he comes home. Its also a lot of fun to leave notes in the lunches it makes the recipients day that much better.
Save on Breakfast
How many times a week do you cook pancakes, waffles of french toast for breakfast? Do you spend more money than you have to by buying these items pre-made and frozen? Rather than waste time and money try making larger batches at one time. These freeze well and can be reheated in either the toaster or the microwave in minutes.
Try shopping by you're self and in a good frame of mind
Try to shop alone because little helpers can boost your bill. Shopping early in the day gets you through the store quicker with your list and you spend less. Do not shop while you are hungry or you will spend more. Also, avoid shopping when you are tired, you'll tend to buy more sweets and more high carbs. When you are angry you will tend to buy more junk food.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Robeez Footwear
As a mother of a 8 month old little girl we gotta have shoes! Come on they just complete the outfit. I have the hardest time finding shoes to fit her. Her feet are funny, they are really little but fat at the same time. So shoes that are the right size in length wont go on her little chubby feet but if they are big enough to squeeze her feet into, she can usually kick them off because they are too long. Its frustrating. Thats why I am grateful that there are such a thing as Robeez Footwear. My son used them as a baby, and he wore his almost everyday. They are way cute and come in many different designs to fit every style and match every outfit. They are also made out of soft leather that will stretch and mold to the shape of their growing feet which research has shown is actually better for them. Click on the link below because Robeez is currently offering free shipping on orders of 2 or more Robeez.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
